Accepting Chronic Illness

Bad stuff happens, unfortunately, that is something that is out of our control. There is only so much we can do. Having a chronic illness, we have been dealt a bad hand. It is horrible. Nobody deserves it. I do not know why we have to suffer like we do. It certainly is not fair. I cannot make the pain go away for myself, or for others. There are so many things that I cannot do. However, I can change my attitude.

 

 Event + reaction = outcome

I cannot change the fact I have fibromyalgia. I can change how I respond
Fibromyalgia + acceptance

has a more positive outcome than
Fibromyalgia + unacceptance

 

I can learn my triggers, what helps my symptoms, the best way to distract myself, etc. rather than focusing on the 'cannot.' I try my best to focus on the 'can.' It is hard, especially at first. Nobody wants to accept that they have a chronic illness. It's not fair. However, I believe acceptance is one of the best gifts you can give yourself!

 

When I was newly diagnosed I was just so grateful to have a diagnosis. My primary doctor said its just anxiety. A year later, I asked my psychiatrist to refer me to a rheumatologist, who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. People will judge you and will have their own opinion. Therefore, I decided to get a new doctor. I choose to surround myself with people who don't judge me for things I cannot control. Everyone wants to be accepted. The first step is to accept yourself.

 

This doesn't mean that I'm always positive. Trust me, I am not! Life sucks. There are different perspectives though. It is helpful to give yourself 5-10 minutes to feel bad. Feel it, cry, scream, talk it out, or whatever you need to do. Then tell yourself that you can do it…because you can! I know you don't want to. I don't want to, but I have to.

 

I had lots of suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately, that's how my brain got used to thinking. Now, even with medication, I still sometimes have those thoughts. It is hard. All I want to do is escape them. Thankfully now I don't have the desire to hurt myself that I used to. I tell myself, that I have crossed that bridge and I am not going back. It helps me accept my past and my present. Just because I have those thoughts does not mean I act on them anymore. Fighting that my past is my past is not helping anything.

 

After being sick for many years, I cannot image who I would be without chronic illness. It is not fair that you and I have to live with it. However, chronic illness is a part of who we are, it is part of our story. Since I have this illness, I have an opportunity to be a part of an amazing supportive community.

 

What to do to learn to accept the bad stuff:

• You cannot change your circumstances so don't make it harder on yourself
• Reframe your thoughts
• When you recognize a negative thought, replace it with a positive thought!
• Practice makes perfect
• Be patient with yourself. It takes time to change your thoughts.
• Use self-talk
• Express yourself
• Don't hold it all in
• Give yourself a certain amount of time (5-10 minutes) to express the negative feelings
• Fighting your feelings it is not healthy and could make it worse
• Know what makes you feel better and do that!